Ganymede & Titan

Does anyone want any toast?

A photograph of the Red Dwarf Corgi model. Where is it?First Floajet, and now this. A thread on NOTBBC's Comedy Forum has alerted us to The Talking Toaster from Crapola Inc. And I swear, any more "Does anyone want any toast?" gags in the comments and I'll ban you. Costing 24.95, this marvellous item doesn't cleverly echo the religious themes of an episode of a 1988 sitcom; instead it does "6 celebrity impersonations", which "add character to your toaster making it the focal point off your kitchen". Jesusing Christ. This is entertainment to these people? It's pathetic.

To listen to the impersonations, simply click on the numbers 1-6 underneath the piccy on this Laughter Lines page. Ian "cunting awful" Danter provides the "impressions" - apparently, he is the "Man of a Thousand Voices". ALL OF THEM CRAP. And if all this isn't enough, why not buy the Comedy Kettle, or (FUCKING ARGH) the Stand-Up Sandwich Toaster? Actually, I think I can probably give you 568 good reasons, but never mind.

The only really amusing thing about this is that the Breville logo looks similar to the Red Dwarf one...


Would you like a cheese and ham breville?

Posted by Talkie Toaster at November 21, 2003 02:11 PM


Posted by Tanya Jones at November 21, 2003 02:15 PM

Our toaster just broke.

I'm getting one.

Posted by Joey at November 21, 2003 10:27 PM

so u don't want crispy hot buttery toast then?

Posted by klariza at November 25, 2003 12:20 AM


Posted by John Hoare at November 25, 2003 07:53 AM

You sure I can't tempt you with a waffle-ee versatile?

Posted by Nigella Lawsuit at November 25, 2003 09:54 AM

What about a toater which has all of its celebrity impressions done by Chris Barrie?????

Posted by Jessica Malcolm at November 25, 2003 10:06 AM

Ah, now, that I would definitely buy.

I'm sure someone good could buy the toaster and replace the chip with a Chris Barrie one...

Posted by John Hoare at November 25, 2003 10:07 AM

can i ask just one question?

Posted by TalkieToaster at November 25, 2003 12:50 PM

I actually own three limited-edition Frank Spenceralike bagels (of six made in the whole fucking UK!), if anybody wants one. But first it MUST endure the process of being burnt slightly by my elements.

That's the deal, take it or FUCK RIGHT OFF.

Posted by TalkieToaster at November 25, 2003 02:49 PM

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