The Red Dwarf Drinking Game: Re-mastered

First published 7th October 2003.

Inspired by a combination of the various Red Dwarf Drinking Games around the net and Tanya Jones, we present our version, for use when forced to watch a Re-mastered episode (to try and make it slightly enjoyable). Simply do as instructed. Have fun.

WARNING: Watching more than two episodes of the Re-mastered series in a row can seriously make you forget why you ever liked Red Dwarf in the first place. Excercise extreme caution, and keep a copy of the Series I and II DVDs around at all times in case of emergencies.

The usual caveat: you may find it slightly more managable to only do one or two sections at a time...

Effects

• Take ONE DRINK each time a crappy CGI shot replaces a gorgeous physical model shot.
• Take ONE DRINK each time CGI is used to 'enhance' a live action shot. Take TWO DRINKS if this doesn't involve the outside of the window in the sleeping quarters. Take THREE DRINKS each time a change looks anything other than "fucking abysmal".

Audio

• Take ONE DRINK each time some dialogue has been rerecorded or changed. Take TWO DRINKS if this rerecording removes a British cultural reference. Take THREE DRINKS if a change does not involve Holly.
• Take ONE DRINK each time an extra stupid incongruous sound effect is dubbed on.
• Take TWO DRINKS each time background noise has been changed/added.
• Take ONE DRINK each time a piece of original music is removed. Take TWO DRINKS if it isn't replaced at all.

Editing

• Take ONE DRINK each time part of a scene is removed.
• Take ONE DRINK if a change creates a continuity problem. Take TWO DRINKS if this problem does not involve Norman Lovett's face.
• Take ONE DRINK if new live action footage is inserted into the episode.
• Take ONE DRINK if a new drawing appears.

Good stuff

• Take ONE DRINK each time extra original footage (shot at the time) appears.
• FINISH THE GLASS if a change is made that actually improves the scene in some way.

Miscellaneous

• Take ONE DRINK at the start of the show if the picture is in 14:9 letterbox.
• Take ONE DRINK each time an original production error that could have been corrected is left in.
• Take ONE DRINK each time you spot a wrong/misspelled end credit.

Your Friends

• FORCE THE ENTIRE GLASS down someone each time they say they prefer the Re-mastered series. And we mean the actual glass.