Freshers - Indian Food/Exams
ANNOUNCER: (Nick Maloney)
And now the continuing saga of two students in their first year at university - Freshers.
NICK: (Nick Wilton)
Well, erm...
TIMMY: (Chris Barrie)
So, what are you going to have?
NICK:
Ciao, ciao, I'm just thinking.
TIMMY:
Have you had Indian food before?
NICK:
Oh, sure, yah yah. Loads of times. I think I'll have some pompadoms,
TIMMY:
Pampadams.
NICK:
Yah, yah. Pampadams. With that, what's that, erm, reddy-brown, sort of sticky stuff?
TIMMY:
The wallpaper.
NICK:
No, chutney. That's it, that's it. And a prawn cocktail. And, er, oooh, now, let's see... erm... well, there's so much choice! I don't know what kind of omelette to have.
TIMMY:
Don't you like Indian food?
NICK:
Oh, yah yah. I think it's fine. I just don't like curries. I mean, I like the pompadoms.
TIMMY:
Pampadams.
NICK:
Yah, yah, and I like Indian omelettes. It's just the curries. Frankly, I just don't think they make them as nice as Vesta. You know, the real authentic ones. Do you know where the toilet is?
TIMMY:
Yeah, it's down some very steep steps, along a very thin corridor, through a funny box room where they've got lots of bits of cardboard and in through the white door marked 'Wet Paint'.
NICK:
Oh, have you been here before?
TIMMY:
No, but it's some sort of regulation with Indian restaurants. The toilet's not allowed to be in the same premises and they have to paint the door every fortnight, or something like that. I don't understand it.
NICK:
Oh, I'll just wait until after we've ordered then.
TIMMY:
Is it your stomach? Still got some gut rot, eh?
NICK:
Yeah, I think it's the exams, you know, the pressure got to me.
TIMMY:
Yeah, it certainly did in Philosophy.
NICK:
You're not kidding! I could have walked that exam if I hadn't have had that spasm.
TIMMY:
Terry was saying you just wrote 'I am a fish' four hundred times, got up, did a jitterbug round the room and keeled over.
NICK:
Yeah. I think I was a bit keyed up.
It surprised me because you seemed to really have it together. You had that big revision timetable, didn't you? With all the different colours for each subject, study periods and rest periods and everything. Seemed to have the whole of the last four weeks pretty well mapped out.
NICK:
Yeah, that timetable took me three weeks to make and I had to cram all my revision into the last four days. The only subject I did any good in was Industrial Management.
TIMMY:
Which of the essays did you do?
NICK:
Oh, all twenty-five. But some of them were only about six lines long. I don't know how they expect you to do twenty-five proper essays in an hour and a half anyway! I mean, it's only like three minutes an essay!
TIMMY:
Oh, right. I thought you were only supposed to do three.
NICK:
(mumbling) Oh no, it was all twenty-five. Definately.
TIMMY:
Three essays and a compulsory question which is worth 75%.
NICK:
What compulsory question?
TIMMY:
The one over the page. [beat] Uh, waiter? Can I have a glass of water, please, for the gentleman who's jitterbugging over here?