Japs: Why?

Posted by John Hoare on November 7, 2004 05:28 AM

Remember Seb's article about the Japanese cuts in Red Dwarf VI? Well, Daff on alt.tv.red-dwarf has done a similar thing to Holoship. And remarkable reading it makes too.

JUST LOOK AT ALL THE CLASSIC DIALOGUE CUT.

Now, before we all have a bit of a cry, it's important to note that perhaps certain things just don't translate that well, meaning that some of the things we think are ridiculous cuts may make more sense than at first thought. (Perhaps the line about science teachers, for instance.) But just look at this:

LISTER: Rimmer, they're a bunch of arrogant, pompous, emotionally-weird, stuck-up megalomaniacs. Do you really think you're going to fit in with them? [Pause] What am I saying? Bon voyage.

KRYTEN: He's right, sir. Why do you want to throw in with people like that?

RIMMER: Because I want to be somebody. I want to have a position of authority on a scout ship exploring uncharted space. Work alongside educated men and women. Officers, people who count. Lister, this is my one chance to seize my dream. To be with the winners. Look at me. What do you see?

LISTER: Tell me.

RIMMER: You see a sad and lonely guy. A guy who left home at sixteen to become an officer and a gentleman, and ended up as a chicken soup machine operative. Is it any wonder my father had four strokes? Is it any wonder he used to sit by the window and dribble? I did that to him. Me!

LISTER: Look, there's nothing wrong with what you did. It was just a job.

RIMMER: You are your job.

KRYTEN: Oh, not so, sir. Now was Albert Camus a goal keeper or a philosopher? Was Albert Einstein a clerk in a patent office or the greatest physicist who ever lived? And of course there's the oft told tale of the simple carpenter's son who went on to own the largest chain of pizza stores in history, Harry Beedlebaum.

RIMMER: Kryten, Albert Einstein didn't spend the best years of his life picking out lumps of dessicated poultry from the end of his nozzle cleaner.

LISTER: That doesn't make you a failure.

RIMMER: It does in my parents' eyes. It does in my brother's eyes. It does in the eyes of everyone with eyes. That's exactly what it makes me.

All cut. Well, getting to know Rimmer's character and motivations isn't really that important, is it?

A while back it was mentioned that proper Dwarf DVDs, with the full original episodes and proper extras, would be released in Japan this year. Let's hope it ends up happening at some point. Meanwhile: IMPORT, YOU FULES.

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