"Cease."
In writing this, I feel a bit like someone who's just posted an article saying "I'VE JUST DISCOVERED THERE'S GOING TO BE A RED DWARF MOVIE!!!!!!!! SMEG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Nonetheless, I've not seen this widely reported, even though it happened several months ago: five have dropped Robot Wars; the seventh series of which ended back in March. (I first got suspicous when I saw the official site had disappeared.) Which means, of course, no more of this:
- "You've seen strange things happen behind closed doors, but nothing's quite so wicked as Robot Wars."
- "You can ask for robot presents from Santa Claus, but you'd better beg for mercy from Robot Wars!"
- "You can stick your vegetarians and your old carnivores, we only eat metal here on Robot Wars!"
- "We've had hundreds of robots banging on the doors, but only the best get on Robot Wars!"
- "Beware competitors who've got glass jaws, we don't pull our punches on Robot Wars!"
- "If there's one thing that your television licence ensures, it's robot mayhem on Robot Wars!"
- "We don't use camera tricks or hidden trap doors, the danger's for real on Robot Wars!"
- "We've got our own rules, and we've got our own laws, but controversy rules on Robot Wars!"
- "While the roboteers, on their fingernails gnaw, it's always time for action here on Robot Wars."
- "If you look in a teepee, you'll find Indian squaws, wishing they had a telly to watch Robot Wars!"
- "Forget about polishing the arena floor, it's covered in debris after Robot Wars!"
WHAT. A. FUCKING. SHAME. EH? Actually, I do feel slightly guilty; it was a show I always used to watch and love, but kept missing in recent years.
Do not despair, however. Robotic combat lives on, however, with the live events - as it always has done. The FRA World Championship is taking place on August 25th - 28th, and will feature nearly 150 robots from around the world, along with brand new house robots; tickets will be going on sale shortly, so keep an eye out. I'd suggest you join the mailing list if you're interested, even if it does spit out nasty HTML emails. The event is taking place at RAF Newton in Nottingham, like the 7th Wars; and if you can't make it, the show will apparently be recorded for television and shown as six primetime shows, although a channel has yet to be confirmed. It'll even be in the same arena; it was bought from Mentorn by Phantom Events, who are organising the new championship together with the FRA.
There's no news about presenters yet; however, when the arena was bought, a statement was put out saying that there would be "100% emphasis on the audience (and roboteers) enjoying a sport rather than pure entertainment". I'd suggest this makes Charles's involvement unlikely, but you never know.
For all you could ever want to know about Robot Wars and the live events, see Robots Rule, where the above list of Craig's witticisms was nicked from. Bloody good website, it is.
Comments
Don't worry John, the last few series were wank, turned into farce. I always say, I stopped watching once a team won and the opposition had a small boy who started crying so they let them go through.
Shit.
Posted by Drzymala at June 2, 2004 06:14 PM
Yeah, I watched the first two or three series on BBC (and even applied, and got as far as signing contracts, but never actually built the damned robot), and used to enjoy it immensely. God, that seems so long ago. Must have been about eight, nine years?
But it had gone boring and unwatchable when they just turned it into a constant succession of rubbish free-for-alls, American-style. I'd stopped paying attention to it long before it moved to five. I don't reckon too many people, aside from the not insignificant number of diehard fans, will shed a tear.
Posted by Seb at June 2, 2004 11:47 PM
The first two series with Jeremy Clarkson were great. Not because of JC, but because it wasn't constant fights. The Robot Wars fights are quite plainly awful. The robots barely in control bang into each other and that's it. But the old events with trying to get through that maze thing to get to the other side of the arena with the house robots trying to get you was superb.
Posted by Rad at June 3, 2004 09:48 AM
Indeed. Although JC only did 1 series.
As you say, it all went down hill when they started just doing fights. Which was about the same time Phillipa Forrester left.
Posted by Mr Flibble at June 3, 2004 10:35 AM
Yeah, I loved the little games like trying to knock each other off the platform and the little mazy thing.
Alas they aimed it at kids eventually and just ruined it
Posted by Drzymala at June 3, 2004 11:20 AM
Nope, Jeremy Clarkson did two series.
Posted by Brig Bother at June 4, 2004 11:27 AM
Jeremy Clarkson definitely did only one series. I'm certain of this.
Charles took over from series 2 onwards. I also recall a video release of series 1 which apparently edited all of Clarkson's links out and replaced them with Charles - Clarkson was airbrushed out of Robot Wars history from a very early stage.
I always remember it as:
Series 1 - Clarkson
Series 2 - Charles takes over
Series 3 - They make it just battles and it becomes utter utter shit and no-one gives a toss about it any more.
Posted by Darrell Jones at June 4, 2004 12:21 PM
http://www.btinternet.com/~patricks.web/robots/presenters.htm
See the bottom of the page for confirmation that Clarkson presented only the first series.
Posted by Pete Martin at June 4, 2004 12:49 PM
I specifically remembered Clarkson doing two series, but everywhere I seem to go on the net seems to confirm he only did one.
Posted by John Hoare at June 4, 2004 02:10 PM
I think there may have been a gap in the middle of series 1 before the finals started or something. It would be an explanation.
But there was definitely only one Clarkson series.
Posted by Darrell Jones at June 4, 2004 02:26 PM
I still think it's two, however I've asked THE PANEL to get some confirmation.
I'm sure I have a distinct memory of him showing off Sir Killalot (who wasn't in the first series) breaking an iron bar with his claw. Anyway, I'll bow down if I'm wrong.
Posted by Brig Bother at June 4, 2004 02:53 PM
Hmm, THE PANEL are suggesting one series as well. Gosh, well that's put me straight.
Robot Wars was never as good as Masters of Combat anyway.
Quick Clarkson fact: When John Fashnu left Gladiators, Clarkson was the first choice for replacement. But he turned it down.
Luckily they didn't offer it to Charles or we'd have to put up with things like "a vampire had a girlfriend, Vlad, he ate 'er, we'll see you next week on Gladiators."
Posted by Brig Bother at June 4, 2004 03:19 PM
Tickets are now avaliable, incidentally.
Posted by John Hoare at June 15, 2004 10:45 AM
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