Episodes Section Back
Yes folks, after an absence of nearly three weeks (thanks to it taking a bloody age to convert to the new site layout), the excellent Episodes section is back in business. Here you will find all your old favourites - capsules, scene summaries, supporting character details and reviews for each and every episode of Series I. Yes, that's right - we've even nearly finished the Me² stuff; the scene summary and character details have now been added, with reviews to follow in the next couple of days.
After you've read that, don't forget about our feature on the Red Dwarf A-Z, which is sneakily tucked away towards the bottom of the page. Evasive little bastard.
Comments
About bloody time! Where were you bastards last week when I was working my way through the series 1 DVD!
I *hate* you. Probably.
Posted by Darrell Jones at September 26, 2003 11:40 PM
It was me being a lazy cunt. Ha ha!
Oh, and no-one mention to Ian about doing the rest of the Re-mastered articles; he had a nervous breakdown last time I mentioned it.
Posted by John Hoare at September 26, 2003 11:48 PM
Ian! etc.
Posted by Darrell Jones at September 27, 2003 01:08 AM
I actually did the first three minutes of Future Echoes, about a week after I did The End. But I haven't been able to face it since. I get nightmares involving the pencil-esque ship.
Posted by Ian Symes at September 28, 2003 03:07 PM
But isn't it only really The End that they actually spent time on? Didn't they just give up by Future Echoes (give or take the fucking terrible CGI)?
Or are they all so altered as it gives Ian incredible nightmares?
Posted by Darrell Jones at September 28, 2003 10:25 PM
I wouldn't be surprised if The End had more changes than most episodes; but there are masses to the rest of the eps as well. One change that really gets me is the CGI chase at the end of Body Swap; about 1/100th as impressive as the original.
One good change to Body Swap, though: the extra 5 seconds of Danny waving around two chicken legs at the end.
Posted by John Hoare at September 28, 2003 10:30 PM
The End did indeed have the most significant changes. However, it's the little things that take the most effort, in many ways. You have to get exactly the right time for both versions every time a new bloody sound effect is added.
Posted by Ian Symes at September 29, 2003 09:35 AM
Well none of you have yet talked about the fact that there were actually TWO versions of "The End Remastered". The first was its premiere on the BBC, when they only showed that episode and no others; the other the one that everyone knows, which is more complete, and was followed by the rest of the remastered series over successive weeks. It was that one that made its way into the shops and was even dubbed into Japanese for those lucky people.
The differences are only slight, but the earlier version has Norman Lovett saying "Bing Bong" instead of the electronic sound. All the differences are things like that. And of course it's all basically just as shit, if not more so actually if that's possible, just because all the new crap bits aren't yet fully realised. In fact it's all rather distressing because any number of draft stages just make you realise the remastered stuff actually took time and effort.
Anyway, I'd like to have my name added to the list of people who want Ian to have a nervous breakdown, if that's part of the package. Complete the remastered articles please! And I've just been listening to everyone's commentaries, and I like the way you slate the remastereds throughout.
Posted by Frogmarch Jimmy at September 29, 2003 07:59 PM
"I get nightmares involving the pencil-esque ship."
Wonder what Freud would say about that...
I've only ever seen one remastered episode. The mere thought of seeing any others makes me want to reach for a bucket.
Posted by McGruder at September 29, 2003 08:37 PM
I hadn't noticed that, Jim. If you're right, I may have to commit suicide instantly.
Posted by Ian Symes at September 29, 2003 08:40 PM
Talking of commentaries, when are we getting the other three?
I had no idea about the 'two versions' thing, though - fascinating. I used to have a copy of the 'early version' on my Red Dwarf Night tape, which was rather ironically destroyed by a cat.
Posted by Darrell Jones at September 29, 2003 09:35 PM
I know I'm in the minority but I enjoy the quality of the remastered versions, complete with series 7 style colour and clarity. The cgi isnt as nice as the models and too much funny stuff was cut, but it wasnt trying to replace the early versions, just give a alternative, more expensive viewpoint and I'm greatful. However during the time spent on remastering couldve been spent working on the film/another series.
The only thing that annoys me too much is the inconsistencies, sometimes Rimmers toothbrushing has a soundeffect then sometimes it doesnt, sometimes Hollys viewscreen is black, then sometimes its blue.
Posted by Ciaran at September 29, 2003 09:53 PM
Ciaran: in my opinion, Re-Mastered didn't look much more "expensive"; it looked far too grainy and gaudy for that. I think you are right about the intentions behind it, though: Ellard mentioned on the official webboard a while ago that it was supposed to be an alternative rather than a replacement. But as fans, we don't see it like that, of course.
Darrell: the other three commentaries are languishing on John's computer, which is currently broken. In our rather critical opinions, they're not as good as the first ones, though, so we'll probably end up re-doing them anyway.
Posted by Ian Symes at September 29, 2003 10:13 PM
Also, the re-mastered episodes if anything had *reduced* clarity, as the field-removed effect slightly reduces the image resolution.
Who needs the remastered versions anyway! You can recreate the effect yourselves.
1) Get a copy of the episode of your choosing and copy it onto another videotape.
2) Copy this videotape onto another videotape - you have now emulated that authentic over-colourisation and smudginess.
3) Stick two lengths of insulating tape to the top and bottom of your TV screen.
4) During the model sequences, distract your attention to a nearby pencil case which you should squint at.
5) Have with you a little Casio keyboard which you should tootle on every time anyone does anything at all (you may like to have two of them to create that 'stereo' effect).
6) During all medium and long shots, get some friends to randomly and unconvincingly walk past the screen.
And there you have it - instant Red Dwarf Remastered!
Posted by Darrell Jones at September 30, 2003 12:02 AM
"However during the time spent on remastering couldve been spent working on the film/another series."
Yep. Or making Series VIII worth watching in the first place.
In fact that's one thing that annoys me very very much. Them running out of money is the excuse they always had for elements of Red Dwarf being rushed, and in series VIII this ended up with it being not "hey, you rushed it but it still came out okay" but "you twats, it's totally fucked". I know the writing is fucking awful (and I disagree with people who say it's an improvement over series VII) and that extra money wouldn't have cured that, but so many ideas were chucked out because they were considered too expensive, like a decent ending to the series (which might end up being THE ending to ALL of the series), and don't get me started on the dancing midgets and CGI dinosaur. Basically, in my opinion Doug Naylor is useless when it comes to that sort of thing, and somebody else should be responsible for that side of the movie if people are wanting it to be good.
Here's the beginning of a list of what the movie needs:
1) Good writing
2) Decent non-CGI models
3) Younger, non-fat cast (still the same cast but younger and less fat)
You can continue this because I'm bored now.
Posted by Frogmarch Jimmy at September 30, 2003 01:01 AM
"I hadn't noticed that, Jim. If you're right, I may have to commit suicide instantly."
Yep, I'm right. Now for your side of the bargain.
Posted by Frogmarch Jimmy at September 30, 2003 01:06 AM
Darrell - your post made me laugh like a drain.
Jim - I've ordered the cyanide off eBay.
Posted by Ian Symes at September 30, 2003 11:17 AM
I don't know why they would put so much more effort into remastering episode 1 than the others, but that's exactly what they've done. After re-recording all of Holly's close-ups for "The End", as far as I can tell they didn't bother doing that for any other series one episodes. They must have just left the 1998 close-ups in rather than scrap the idea because "we've done those now, we might as well release them", even though they couldn't be arsed to go through the whole lot.
So the whole remastered thing wasn't just lame, it was half-arsed as well. Anybody else remember what the hell the point was? Oh yeah - American syndication of 52 episodes with as little visual and aural variation between them as possible. And yet the half-arsed thing cropped back up and fucked that up too, because series 4-6 were left undone.
Anyway, I've had enough of this, I'm boring myself. Apologies to all with lower patience levels than mine.
Posted by Trunchkin the Violator at September 30, 2003 12:39 PM
The motto is; if it 'ain't broke, don't fix it. And why would the cast be better if they were 'less fat', or younger? It doesn't affect the way they play the characters. I'm afraid that the passage of a decade tends to make a difference to the way a human being looks; have you not noticed?
Posted by Tanya at September 30, 2003 02:41 PM
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